2012 Concession Letters For Posterity
Flat Iron is awesome and I was not, I beat a few of you so I shall not rote.
My Jayhawks kicked butt until the end and I know that "flat iron is awesome" will soon be a trend!
I look forward to next year...so for now just pass the beer.
PS...I am the only English major ever to get a C in poetry!
Mike "Curling Iron" Chastain your Fung Shui was better than mine and your creative financial transactional skills with the commissioner must be a sight to behold. There were those that picked more correct and those that scored more with less picks, but no one picked more elite eight participants and that is what I'll hang onto so that I don't fall into such a morose condition that I turn into a bard to write librettos about my pitiful and failing nature. Hopefully you don't accept that tiara Mike from Tifani and you make sure the crown is passed onto you. I do wonder if Derek shouldn't start to at least get some counseling about this whole smackdown thing, even Charlie Brown could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I will plan to get advice from Dr. Phil so that I will provide a better challenge next year, if he's not available I'm sure Dr. Pepper will be.
This was a very difficult season and you, with your superior knowledge and a lot of luck. You do reign superior and I can't wait until nest year to see you defend your crown. I have decided to have a talk with Alex to see if he will mentor Derek next year. Thanks Rand for a good job well done.
1. You won and I suck.
2. Derek also sucks.
3. Maybe you and Derek should not spend so much "quality" time with sheep...
Dear Mr. "Flat Iron",
While I concede defeat to you I take comfort in the fact that I actually picked more correct games than you and everyone else. Since you are champion and I am not I can only assume that Rand likes you more than he likes me. At least he likes me more than he likes every other participating member of my family and his.
My primary goal in participating in the smack down was to not embarrass myself and I think I achieved that. I am very pleased to have so greatly achieve my secondary goal of smacking Derek by ending 15 places ahead of him. I intend to remind him of this at every opportunity.
Until next year folks.
Dear Flat Iron Mike,
(I like this order in your name better)
I concede, and hand my hard-earned smack-down tiara to you. You deserved your win, and hope sincerely that you achieve additional greatness in the future by taking a few risks, as opposed to taking the "number one team in the country highway:" there's a poem about this.
However, this is a technicality: your greatness in coming out on top and smacking Derek so effectively cannot be ignored! All hail the 2012 champion! May the tiara for you well,
Dear Flat Iron,
I do NOT suck. I am not as cunning as you, therefore, I concede to you.
In my defense I spent most of the tournament with Sean 'kissy face' Heston. I realize now this was his way of distraction. He kept me busy kissy facing and we ended up tied for 7th. I must not give in next year. I will begin a new tradition, I will give up something during the tournament season in order to focus completely on winning. Sean 'kissy face' will be sad to hear that I will not be distracted by displays of affection next year.
On a lighter note, I did prevail quite handily over Derek and isn't that what this is truly all about?
Ready for focus
Lisa 'mucho smoocho' Heston
From Sean Heston:
Wait . . . What?!
I suck. Derek sucks more than me. You suck less than me.
That is all.
Dear Mr. "Flat Iron" Chastain:
I understand that you are this year's Smackdown winner. And, for that reason, I concede defeat to you. You are clearly a better basketball prognosticator than I; let's face it, you're a better man than I am. But, I will have you know, that, although I finished 4th, I was just one Kansas win away from being the champion myself. That is probably the closest I will ever come to Smackdown glory. For a few brief moments I thought that this could be the year. Instead, it is just another year that I am bested by a better basketball picker. (and, I suspect, a better nose picker too).
Despite my tremendous disappointment at the result of the final, I can at least hold my head high knowing that I placed 14 spots higher than Derek in this year's Smackdown...and, isn't that what it's really all about!
So, congratulations, flat iron. You have truly earned the title of Smackdown Champion extraordinaire.
Thank you too, Mr. Rand, for another excellent Smackdown. Do you think that next year you could try to cheer a little harder for Kansas?