2004 Final Results

 

One thing jumps out when one compares the final standings from this year with the final standings from last year. This was a tough pool and it is getting tougher. Last year, Major Gepner bombed the rest of the field into submission by getting 183 points on 40 correct choices. Those same numbers would have earned the Major an eighth place finish this year...

The "We Rock" Club

1. Scott "Duh Champ" McLoughlin locked it up with 246 final points even though his champion OSU did not make it into the championship game. "I am glad to win this thing, but I will be having nightmares about Wayne for a while."

2. Wayne "Items in your rearview mirror may be larger than they appear" Simmons correctly picked UConn and otherwise came very, very close. Although Mr. McLoughlin is the Champion, he did not have mucho separation on the Waynester. "I got two more picks right than Scott and still finished two points behind him? That tears it. Next year I am buying a new jock."

3. Newcomer Ben "I finished in the money" Reed did well despite his rookie status, correctly picking UConn and finishing with 223 total points on 42 correct choices. "What do you mean there is no actual 'money'?"

4. Antonio "Rand and Ed can eat my dust" Sanchez was fourth with 221 points on 40 correct choices. "All right! Last year Scott finished fourth, Baby!"

5. Rand "doing the 'top half of the field' dance" Simmons finished fifth even though Kansas did not advance past the Elite Eight. "Yeah, that's something of a downer. But didn't I finish ahead of all the folks who picked Stanford, Duke, and Kentucky to win?"

6. Ed "Wild Guess" Smith finished with 191 points on 41 correct choices. "Yeah, I am a rookie. But I got eight more correct than Derek. So how much must HE suck?"

7. Tiffani "UConn bites" Jefferis finished with 190 points on 40 correct choices. "I got as many correct as that Sanchez guy and he got 21 more points than I did? Damn Duke for usually being the higher seed."

8. Major Art "Cruise Missile" Gepner followed his 2003 Smackdown Championship with a more human-appearing eighth place finish (182 points on 32 correct choices). "Does this mean that last year was a fluke? -- I am afraid that's classified."

9. Craig "Colonel" Kurtz ended his run of relative competency with a first-ever finish in the bottom half of the field. "I am not making any accusations, but... Rand finishes in the top half of the field and Wayne almost won? I suspect that the Trilateral Commision and the Free Masons are involved."

10. Judge John "Mixed Nuts" Wittmayer is the other of our two contestants in the "father-in-law" division of the Smackdown and he finished with 166 points on 37 correct choices. "I don't mind that Ed finished ahead of me. He has enough on his mind with Derek in HIS family. But God better have mercy on any of those UAB players that come through MY courtroom, 'cause I won't."

11. Barry "picking favored teams blows" Smith finished with 157 points on 37 correct choices. "I got more picks right than Gepner and he finished in eighth place? How does THAT work?"

The Derekdoza Line

1. Derek “Let's just say that there is a low bar for mediocrity this year” Simmons finished with 148 points on 33 correct choices. Fourteen correct choices behind his father. Says Wayne, "Maybe I will spot him a region next year just to make it more even..."

The Lone Whiffer

1. Paul “I finished third last year” Smith finished with 136 points on 31 correct choices. "I blame the media. How was I to know that the Pac-10 sucked so badly?"