If James Naismith were alive today, he would be grilling Kielbasa

and cursing his brackets, just like the rest of us.

 

2007 Final Results Review of 2007 Competitors

The 2007 Smackdown is over and history has been made once again. Not only did Derek have his lowest finish since 2004, this year we crown our first three-time winner.   Wayne Simmons 2007 Smackdown Champ!   In pulling off the first official Smackdown hat trick, Wayne “Grande” Simmons was simply enormous, finishing with 234 points on 52 correct choices. “Grande” buried the second place finisher by 27 points and the hapless Derek by a mere 76 points. We here at Smackdown Central asked the great man how it felt to lay waste to all who opposed him. “Okay,” he admitted. “But I am more than a little concerned that my children ended up occupying three of the last four spots. How can the apples have fallen so far from the tree?”   Barry “King of the Weenies” Smith pulled off the improbable by finishing second for the second year in a row with 207 on 46 correct choices. “The silver again? When, oh when is it MY turn?”   Last year’s champion, Cyprian “Junior Burger” Sanchez managed a third place finish in this year’s contest with 198 on 45 correct choices. “I hate to take all the glory every year. Gotta share. Spread the joy. I’m just that kind of guy.”   Tying for third, Clif “Hoosier Daddy” Jefferis returned to respectability after his 11th place showing last year. He got 198 on 43 correct choices. “Yes, this Smackdown thing is MUCH easier when the little woman is not schoolin’ me.”   Art “Gazangas” Gepner narrowly missed out on being part of his first three-way. Short one point, he is forced to endure the shame of fifth place with 197 on 46 correct choices. “Yeah, well last year it was the shame of 14th place, so I can live with it.”   Patrick “Spanky” Smith is just happy not to be the “sucky” Smith brother this year. With 192 points on 41 correct choices, he has passed that mantle on to Paul. Says Spanky, “I would not be terribly surprised to learn that Paul has a semi-permanent spot for that mantle.”   Craig “Colonel” Kurtz earned a Smackdown Central ‘salute’ by getting 182 points on 41 correct choices. “Actually, 7th is a high spot for me in recent years, so you can all bite me.”   Todd “Cheap Scotch” Thummel ended his inaugural run at the Smackdown with 181 points on 44 correct choices. “Man, I was so drunk when I made my picks – and I got 23 points more than Derek. Is this thing always going to be so easy?”   Smackdown Central would like to welcome Scott “McMuffin” McLoughlin back to a spot among mere mortals after a three year run in the top three. This year, he picked up 177 points on 43 correct choices. “Bottom line - ‘Grande’ was just too massive. Maybe next year.”   Paul “Badger Boy” Smith risked the wrath of the basketball gods by picking Wisconsin to win it all. Surprisingly, he still amassed 173 points on 41 correct choices. “At this point, I just feel fortunate that I didn’t end up down in Derekville.”   Rand "Manzana" Simmons led the apples from Grande’s tree with 169 on 39 correct choices. “So it’s not a victory, yet it is a victory… depending on how you look at it. Hey, at this point I am just taking what I can get.”   John “Da Judge” Wittmayer logged 166 points on 40 correct choices. “Evidently this group is not aware of the concept of ‘judicial preference.’ Also, Georgetown wuz robbed."   Derek “Chiquitito” Simmons barely managed to eke out a meager 158 points on 39 correct choices. “In some contests,” Tito muses, “the person with the least amount of points wins.” (Nice try, “Tito.” This is not one of those games…)   Katherine “Schmeke” Simmons is working on her own kind of streak with 150 points on 39 correct choices. “Last place two years in a row – coincidence? Or is it possible that I’m getting paid to take a dive so that a certain brother of mine doesn’t end up dead last…”  Smackdown Central